CRASHING FROM THE SKY

Why do I like him? Why does he give me butterflies? Why can’t I stop likening him?

There’s this guy in our school and I don’t know anything about him but his name. We’ve never talked or anything.

So it started at the beginning of our intramurals, my junior year, that I noticed him. He’s one of the basketball players of their course. I immediately notice that he is really cute. He looks quite handsome, actually. He has light skin, short black hair.

Days passed after that I already see him all the time in the kiosk and in the hall way. We’ve made eye contact and all but it’s so awkward. When I look at him, I feel so happy. I noticed him more and more, and thought that I’m having another silly little crush. So days went by again and every time I see him in school, he’d always have my attention. Later that attention grew bigger. I started thinking of him more and more that I know nothing about other than his first name. I don’t know why I like him. I can’t explain it at all. There’s something special about him because he’s the only one who’s ever have this effect on me.

I told my friends about him and now that my friends know, it’s really awkward because whenever he walks by they nudge me and make a show about it. It embarrasses me at times but their also very helpful in getting me to not be so shy around this guy I like. 

When I see him, I act like a complete idiot. I just blush and giggle. I don’t know how to stop this behaviour, I don’t want him to get the impression that I am actually like this but I can’t seem to control myself around him. My friends told me that it’s perfectly natural that it’s my heart speaking for me instead of my brain. But still I hate how I do get extremely nervous. I become tense and my heart starts beating really fast. I hate that whenever I see him I tend to ignore him and avoid him in any way possible. But deep inside of me Hello, I am actually suppose to talk to him but I really don’t want to get my heart shattered so I alienate myself.

I don’t believe in love in first sight at all. I believe that you can’t fall in love with a person you don’t know, and yet here I am in this situation who seems obsessed with this person.  I’ve never been like this and I seriously hate feeling like this. Now I’m trying to get rid of whatever I’m feeling. I hate this feeling; I don’t like it at all.  

Sometimes I wonder if he ever thinks of me too or if he ever notices me. I wonder what he thinks of me every time he sees me, every time our eyes lock.

So girls who are in the same boat, let’s all cross our fingers, hope for the best, and pray that it won’t be too bad.